Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
This couple is walking their pig around campus
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
