I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
