honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
