what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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