Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
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