im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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