But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
