Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
