Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
