just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
