Everything about him screamed your future.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
