PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
