Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
