she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
