so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
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