The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
