I like to think it a success when the cops are called
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
