is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
