dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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