haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
