No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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