It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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