Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
