pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
