it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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