I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
he shaved USA in his pubs
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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