i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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