I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I'm at about main and main street
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
