you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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