Soap is not a condiment
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
