im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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