Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
