this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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