College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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