He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I love you.
Bad choice
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
