You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
