1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
