I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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