he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
the raccoons are back...
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