You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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