..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
