His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
