Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
