I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize