Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
