yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
