I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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