I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
