"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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