we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
be right there i have to get my cape
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
