She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
i drank out of a bidet.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
